Wenn Klingonen programmieren
Grad werden ja überall entwickler gesucht. Vielleucht sollten es die startups mal mit nem Klingonen versuchen.
Hier ein paar Sachen, die r eventuell erzählt:
The Klingon programmer- Defensive programming? Never! Klingon programs are always on the offense. Yes, offensive programming is what we do best.
- Specifications are for the weak and timid!
- This machine is GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
- You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you‘ve read it in the original Klingon.
- Indentation?! – I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
- What is this talk of ‘release‘? Klingons do not make software ‘releases‘. Our software ‘escapes‘ leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
- Klingon function calls do not have ‘parameters‘ – they have ‘arguments‘—and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
- Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak. Bugs are good for building character in the user.
- I have challenged the entire ISO-9000 quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest on the holodeck. They will not concern us again.
- A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!
- By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!
- You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
- Our competitors are without honor!
- Python? That is for children. A Klingon Warrior uses only machine code, keyed in on the front panel switches in raw binary.
- Klingon programs don‘t do accountancy. For that, you need a Ferengi.
- Klingon multitasking systems do not support “time-sharing”. When a Klingon program wants to run, it challenges the scheduler in hand-to-hand combat and owns the machine.
- Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it!
- My program has just dumped Stova Core!
- Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!
[2007-10-23 10:08 | Oliver Gassner | ]
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